dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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