Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
