Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
