I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
