he shaved USA in his pubs
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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