Where did you get a picture of my penis
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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