Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
