you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i drank out of a bidet.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
