just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
