can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
