Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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