i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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