Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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