HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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