you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
