THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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