My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
