Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
