Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
