If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
