If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
