Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
