yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
