what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize