new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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