Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
