were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
