Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
