yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
