we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
