We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
