I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
