More tranny stories later!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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