New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
