Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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