I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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