Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
