my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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