You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I believe in your delicious
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
