my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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