May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
