I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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