i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
