So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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