Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
