I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
