if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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