these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
