I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
