I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
