It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
