He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
