Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
