Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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