Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize