I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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