and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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