Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so let's talk penis.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
