The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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