the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
