that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
