Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
