to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize